Winter's this year is not frosty. mornings and nights are comparatively breezy though. but the days are better. feels like autumn. however, there's a strange emptiness during the afternoons. like the day loses its soul during the daylight. i feel a strange void. sometimes i feel the shiver down my spine. my hands feel cold. my legs feel weak.. and my mind.. my mind feels numb. numbness is lack of feeling though. i find it hard to see, to speak, to hear.. and this anxiety of what is going to happen next. the uncertainty... the rush.. the excitement or the scary feeling.
last year this time i was so busy in my life, and i remember feeling this the third year when my life is undergoing a major change during this time of year. last night i couldn't sleep. i twisted and curled but i could not sleep. my mind feels restless with no signs of calming down. i just need to calm down. sat quietly for some time and think nothing. is it that tough? to calm your mind and your body for a few minutes?..
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