It's been really long since i stopped writing, not that I don't want to.. i feel this urge to write and just vent it out, but life has been busy... with so many things.. with changes..with marriage .. with job.. and with myself. i open the page and I just go blank. i think i have lost my capacity to think or may be i just don't want to think anymore. because the more i think about, the more i want to run from it. a few days back, one of a friend said why i over-analyze things, that got me thinking, that i really think this much? now that i really don't want to. i run from it. but, you know what. i was wrong..this was me.. or this is me. this is a very essential part of my being. that i am sensitive to few things. that i do think and can't separate a part of me from myself. i don't want to... I would prefer to live without people who cannot handle or accept the way i am. but i will not lose the very essence of me.
coming back to writing. i just want to get back to the phase of my life where i would just wake up in the middle of the night and write down my thoughts and never read it back. today, i re-read my old posts, thinking, how could i just write all just anything going through my mind. why is it so tough now? why i could not get the things out of my mind and my heart. why words fail me everywhere i want to write?
i am hoping that this phase will pass soon.. i hope things get better with me. i hope i could train my mind better and just listen to my heart. years had passed but i am not myself. and since i am out of words i am concluding this abruptly.
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