I dont want to blog when i have extreme feelings,like when i am super happy or super unhappy. but sometimes my blog becomes the place where i can let out what i feel…. technically i am not even letting it out.i am just trying to push it all away and forget but it never works. my last post was very simple but this one… is the exact opposite…..

life , though it has many many upsides and downfalls. but is the same, the higher you get,the harder you fall.i thought i had it all friend, family, life. but its all a facade. i have just been seeing the happy things… but in reality life isnt that perfect.

i dont really want to tell whats wrong but if you do know, then its a sign that you know im not always the happiest person on earth, i think im being selfish but i think that if i tell people they’ll be there to support me but how can i repay them, my gratitude doenst seem enough. its so complex. all these feelings that are whirling inside me all time its killing me slowly from the inside. the episodes of quietness and silence grow longer when im with people they worry about me and try to see if they can help. i genuinely thank them for their concern but sometimes. i dont want to take there happiness and exchange it for my sadness. this feeling is so hard to understand.. its so hard for me to comphrehend, i want to run away i thought i could . but it’s coming for me and. it’ll come back worse than before. my friend dont let me slip from the reality,the reality that im trying so hard to run away from,keep me sane so i can come down to earth and be me.